March 2010
28 posts
1 tag
“The Face Is The Mirror Of The Mind, And Eyes Without Speaking Confess The...”
– Saint Jerome
February 2010
32 posts
1 tag
“Concentration Comes Out Of A Combination Of Confidence And Hunger”
– Arnold Palmer
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“Don’t Give 100% In A Relationship, You Each Give 50% So The Relationship...”
– Eddie PHADE Diaz
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“Don’t Bother Just To Be Better Than Your Contemporaries Or Predecessors....”
– William Faulkner
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Crazy Client In 2007
CLIENT: I Thought You Were Going To Lower My Payments
ME: I Am, It's A Better Deal
CLIENT: No. My Payments Are Going Up $15
ME: Your Current Loan Doesn't Include Taxes And Insurance, Mine Does. Plus I'm Taking You From 22 Years Left On Your Home To A New 15 Year Loan.
CLIENT: So I Have This Loan For 37 Years? How Is That Possible?
ME: No, You Only Have 15 Years To Pay. I'm Saving You More Than $150 Dollars A Month Of Your TOTAL Mortgage Payment, Dropping 7 Years From Your Loan PLUS Saving You Over $14K Of The Life Of The Loan And That's Excluding Interest.
CLIENT: I Don't Know, I Have To Speak With My Husband.
ME: (Already Fed Up Trying To Explain It To Her) O.K, Have Him Call Me If He Has Any Question.
CLIENT: I Really Doubt He'll Call.
ME: OK....
CLIENT: *HUSBAND* Can You Tell Why The Payments Are Going Up?
ME: *I Explain*
CLIENT: ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!???
ME: Yes!
CLIENT: Sorry About That! My Wife's An Idiot, We'll Be There To Sign The Paperwork In An Hour!
3 tags
Top 10 Things MEN SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud In...
Does This Come In Children’s Sizes?
No Thanks. Just Sniffing.
I’ll Be In The Dressing Room Going Blind.
Mom Will Love This.
Oh The Size Won’t Matter. She’s Inflatable.
No Need To Wrap It Up. I’ll Eat It Here.
Will You Model This For Me?
The Miracle What? This Is Better Than World Peace!
45 Bucks? You’re Just Gonna End Up NAKED Anyway!
Oh Honey,...
2 tags
☟If Men Wrote Women's Magazines
4 tags
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WatchNew Heinz Ketchup Packaging
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There's Something Very Wrong With This World.
What’s the point? I volunteer for the Youth Offending Service, to try and stop kids re-offending, yet look at those around me. What’s the fucking point if I can’t stop people I actually know and care about from breaking the law and doing stupid things, trying to coach random kids and make them behave. How is it fair that people will try and take their own lives, yet there are millions more...
3 tags
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formspring.me
Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
I Have 4 Tattos (1 Under EACH Elbow - Life/Death Ambigram) (1 On My Left Bisep) And (1 On The Back Of My Right Shoulder)
I Had My Nose Pierced For About A Week And I Had An Ampallang For 4 Years. Right Now I Only Have My Tongue Pierced.
What Do You Want To Know? Ask Me ANYTHING!
3 tags
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“Most Of My Friends Can Get An F.U - Friendships Unappreciated”
– Eddie PHADE Diaz
1 tag
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“You Can’t Miss What You Never Had”
– Eddie PHADE Diaz
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Roommate Story #7
Me: Hey! Why Do You Set Your Alarm?
Roommate: So I Can Wake Up!
Me: I'm Serious, Why Do You Set Your Alarm?
Roommate: What Are You Talking About?
Me: Yeah, You Set It But It Just Rings, Rings And Rings
Roommate: I Do Wake Up!
Me: Not With The Alarm, I Go Wake You Up
Roommate: Ah Wah!
Me: EVERYtime You Set The Alarm, I Knock On Your Door 5-10 Minutes Later So You Can Turn That Shit Off And Wake Up.
Roommate: Yeah Right!
Me: Don't Annoy Me! Remember What Happened When You Told Me That You Don't Fall Asleep With The TV On?
Roommate: What?
Me: I'm Gonna Wake You Up The Same Way: I'm Gonna Wet A Paper Towel And When You're Sleeping With Your Gut Showing...I'm Gonna Twirl It In Your Belly Button And Scare The Hell Out Of You.
1 tag
formspring.me
Looks like you have a mild case of OCD, do you?
That’s Funny And The Reason I Say That It’s Because I Know Exactly What You’re Talking About. And To Answer Your Question: I Don’t, I’m More Of A Perfectionist.
What Do You Want To Know? Ask Me ANYTHING!
1 tag
formspring.me
Where in the SFV are you in?
Mostly Eveywhere But I Live In Northridge.
What Do You Want To Know? Ask Me ANYTHING!
2 tags
“We Are Our Own Worst Critic - And That’s The MAIN Reason To Get Ourselves...”
– Eddie PHADE Diaz
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“Tats On My Skin ‘Cus I’m A Raw Civilian, A Hater Wanna Be Fly...”
– 5050 Twin
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“If I Could Be Like Mike, Guess What? I Wouldn’t, It’s In Me To Be...”
– 5050 Twin
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“I Came To Realize That Life Lived To Help Others Is The Only One That Matters...”
– Ben Stein
4 tags
1 tag
formspring.me
Do you have any regrets? If so, what’s the biggest one?
Only One: That I Never Had A Chance To Save My Baby Pictures. (Personal Reasons)
What Do You Want To Know? Ask Me ANYTHING!
1 tag
“Be True To Your Work, Your Word And Your Friend”
– Henry David Thoreau
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WatchPee-Wee Gets An iPad
